Friday, December 23, 2011

It has been a while since I have sat down to update my blog. I have been quite busy getting better Y'LL! The semester ended and we are well on our way to Christmas and readily looking forward to 2012. Since July, my world has been turned inside out to say the least and there were many times when I really needed a positive word, a friend, or someone just to tell me that things were going to work out and be okay. I know many people, myself included read online all about the whole spontaneous dissection and were, well, scared. From day one (it's been 150 days) I have tried my very best to keep an extremely positive attitude. At times I will admitt it was very difficult, but more times then not I would find a reason to be thankful, someone would make a nice comment, I would receive a smile, or something else would just come up and distract my attention, which by the way is not a hard thing to do. My point here is that I can look back and see just how far I've come. Sit here in the present and honestly say I feel even better then before (more patients, love, and empathy). I peek ahead and I get totally excited for what adventures await! I started this blog roughly a year ago and titled it my journey, boy what a journey it has been. Today we were watching one of those sappy Christmas movies (which actually made me shed a tear) and one of the lines was "it's not a bad thing to lose everything you have and start over, at least you know you are starting from the bottom and it can only get better". That's how it was for me, the one thing I had worked so hard on and for so many years was gone, I didn't know how much if any would return, racing again was totally on the opposite end of the universe, and I kept waiting for this huge depression which, thankfully, never really came. Instead anytime it seemed I started feeling blue, I would realize just how much life means to me, how many friends I have made in the journey, and how much my priorities were a little off. So, a big thank you to all of you who I have talked to about my situation, all of you who have made me feel better (my students have played a humongous role), especially to everyone who has stuck by me throughout (my one Dr. Friend who has maintained the communication and was right all along), and to my family...I Love You guys so much I can't even begin to explain.

Now for the fun part, last week was eye opening to say the least. I had two different Dr's appointments which would change the way I can look at things now. The first was a from a new blood doctor. The old one dismissed me as all the tests he ran came out negative (he treated me as if I was wasting his precious time). The second one ordered a batch of blood work and found that I indeed have a condition known as c677t mutations(two) it meant that I am hyper-coagulable and also that I produce a higher amount of red blood cells. With this condition, plaque is more prone to build in the arteries. At least I have some answers now as to what happened. Neither myself nor my dr friend, Dr. Liz, had agreed with the whole spontaneous dissection. Every time I brought it up with my former cardiologist, he would shoot down anything different, telling me he didn't know why I clotted so bad and just kept me on a double dose of blood thinners. Enter the next night and an appointment with the doctor who actually did the intervention on me. Contrary to what I had heard, the doctor was actually pretty easy to talk to, listened to me, agreed with me, and took what I had to tell him pretty well. See one of the things that actually upset me through all this was the fact that I was able to go swimming again (a few days after I got out of the hospital) I ran into an acquaintance who proceeded to tell me how he was looking at a ghost, I was one in a million to have survived, blah blah blah. I was just like WTF, yeah I guess he had dinner with the cardiologist who had done the surgery and he felt it was cool to inform him...don't get me wrong I am extremely pleased to be here right now, happy as all hell that it was fixed with a stent and not open heart surgery, but really? Even I know it's not cool to talk openly about the medically fragile kids I work with, not too cool at all. With that being said, you can get a little insight on why I had mixed emotions before I even met the guy. The reason I am finally getting the chance to meet this cardiologist? The one who was working with him, the one who I have been seeing for the past 5 or so months, the one that had me on a double dose of effient, the one who maintained the diagnosis of SCAD, and who would rarely listen to me...I guess was fired.. I get to meet with my new cardiologist now and it went very well. I talked frankly with him and how disappointed I was in the fact that he talked about me to someone I didn't authorize, I asked him about the dissection, I asked about my future in racing again....bottom line, I liked what he had to say about everything I asked him about. See I sent out my video of the cath lab and it became evident that it looked more like a plaque rupture, a lead wire dissection, which clotted again overnight, and later sucked out with medication. He confirmed this, my wife and I sat there in awe because everything the other one told us was entirely different and everything Dr. Liz had been telling me the entire time was correct! So, folic acid and vitamin B-12 for the mutation, stay well hydrated, no staying too long in Colorado training and racing, a single dose of Effient (10 mg), and more recovery time...I am good with all that ;) but as you can imagine my head was truely spinning as three different drs are telling me three different things...two of which are cardiologists the third being my new blood dr. (more on that in a bit). For example, I was ok with knowing I have a weird mutation, maybe if my dad had known, he would still be here. I was even ok with him telling me not to race anymore and that I am extremely lucky to be where I am right now (....DUH) he said things like if you go anywhere above 5500 feet just walk and fish and don't stay long. That he has seen this condition go undiagnosed and after a few more clotting episodes I could be crippled with damage. The cardiologist says that there is no real reason I can't get back to where I was before (racing). It wouldn't happen overnight, but it didn't take overnight to get to where I was in the first place. Wow! Totally different advice...I think my wife was happier with the first :) Although the cardiologist did tell us racing in places like Hawaii would be optimal ;)

So now enter my mindset about all this.... See, I know where I was on July 11th in Boulder and I know where and how I was on July 24th when they let me walk again and I also know where i am and how i feel riht now... Honestly, this is the best I have felt in a very very long time. I think all those blood thinners were a bit much for me (dizzy spells) so naturally I am happy to be on a single dose now. My red cells are up to normal range again so I have more energy and I am fairly confident that I won't be bleeding out if I should take a spill on the bike, thanks to the basketball bunch at school. Last week we played twice with really good (young) players, I did fine (a little out of b-ball shape), but fine non the less. During the Tues game, I took a bad elbow to my big nose, it bled then stopped. Thurs..bam! Again!..and again it bled a bit then stopped and I kept playing..Awesome I thought, and they of course thought I was crazy to have taken two good shots to the face (nose) and be happy about it:) I guess what I will end up doing is taking both the Dr's advice, listening to my body and finding a happy place somewhere in between. The way I look at is that the worst part is behind me, the part where walking around the block would make me tired and dizzy and tingly. From those days every few weeks things have gotten extremely better. Look, I tell myself you just played two hard games of basketball with good players, scored a few times, hustled a few times, got a few rebounds, then ran 10 suicides, and ran around the school hallways for another 15 minutes...shit is getting better bro!! Yeah I talk to myself quite a bit, you should try it too, its kept me very positive and sometimes it's the best conversation you will have all day:) Anyway, my point is that things have gotten better on so many fronts. I know I can run 3 miles in @22 minutes, swim a 2000 in 30 minutes (pushing to about 80% on each) and bike...well that was always my best so it probably still will be a little better then the other two...The other thing I know now is how valuable my family, friends, students, and life in general is, so even if I am tapping out on the abilities now (probably not) but if I was, it's cool! Smart money says that if it has gotten better every few weeks then it should continue getting better so long as I listen to my body, and the ones who have stuck by my side and believed in me since the beginning of this journey. Special thanks to my little brother and his wife Lindsey who stuck around Las Cruces a bit longer to escort me on walks and make sure I was headed in the right direction.