Ok so it's been quite a while since I have updated the blog. To say there has been a lot that has happened since my last post would be a giant understatement! To say that I totally know which road my life will travel from this point forward would be a total shot in the dark. To sit here and write about how at ease I am that a new triathlon season is on the horizon and I am fine without knowing if I will race or not would be a total lie. I started this blog some time ago to give insight on what it takes to be a 40+ year old triathlete trying to live the dream... still... I admit I was on top of the world for the better part of 20 years in the sport and I also admit that when it came to a halt last July, I was pretty much dumbfounded with where to go from here thoughts??? I mean for years, 20 to be exact, I would show up for my teaching job, print out the years schedule and begin making my racing plans by writing in all the races I would be participating in for the year. Everything else would be fit in around the penciled in races...everything. Right or wrong that's just how it was. Imagine how I felt when this past August I showed up at work, 15 lbs under weight, yellow looking, dizzy as shit whenever I stood up too fast, and absolutely no race to plan for...ever, I thought. Yeah, if you guessed like crap, well you're right. It was then and there that I decided to go on a quest to gain back back every ounce of strength that i could, emotionally and physically. I decided not to use the pity card, not to take any time off work (even if it meant having to listen to 20 people a day ask me if I was feeling alright). The time I would take was to see my buddy Trent at cardiac rehab. The place made me feel good and honestly it felt like the only place I belonged. I did my best to make an appearance at a triathlon in September, but it was like trying to beat a square peg in a round opening, it hurt so much not being able to compete! That night I decided to try and run again, with the help of Marlene and my bro's Steven and Danny who kept the fire going on the beach and the beers on ice, Mar and I were able to make 6 miles in an hour....that night the quest took a turn for the better! I guess the point to be made here is that for the better part of the past 8 months I have been fortunate enough to reevaluate my progress on my terms based on the feedback my body tells me. The biggest point I would like to make, on a personal note, is how important it was for me to try and look for the positive in any and every aspect of this event. The one and only positive I could draw on many times was the fact that I was still here, still able to love and hold my wife and kids, still able to enjoy a cold beer, and still had the ability to help others.
For the better part of the past three and a half months I have been trying to figure out for myself just how much fitness I was able to hold onto, regain, and how my heart will respond to increased work load. Sometimes I am pleased with the way I feel and other times I am left wondering if there was damage which will never allow me to get a whole lot faster again?? At least with this approach, I feel I am relying on the one person who knows how I feel, who knows how my body is reacting to the work outs, and the recovery...ME! I am tired of going to all these different doctors who would all tell me different things. Three different cardiologists, two different blood doctors, and a few other doctors that I've lost touch with all seemed to have a different view and different advice...scary, upsetting, and demoralizing, are a few words which come to mind. As I look back I guess the one emotion usually present, anger, was mysteriously missing (for the most part) and that's the positive I can take away from this. As far as the doctors go: I have changed to a different cardiologist, a triathlete, someone who could actually relate to the way I feel. I do need to back up just a few years here: I had a prior cardiologist named Dr. Meltzer, who was also a personal friend, a runner/triathlete, and racing companion. In 2007 he died of a heart attack. The last time I payed him a visit (I have a heart murmur), he told me my aorta was a bit dilated..just like the rest of my heart arteries, but not to worry and come back in 5 years. Yeah it would have been 5 years in 2011...So, back to the new triathlete/Dr. The first thing I talked him into, was letting me take a stress test, which I did my best to practice for, and which I passed with flying colors! All the way to 21 minutes, which took the treadmill all the way to 6 mph at 22% incline for minutes 18-21. The stage before that one was 5.5 mph at 20% incline for minutes 15-18. It was freakinPVC's (preventricular contractions) that sort of stopped all the positive reactions and ended up with me having to see an arrhythmic specialist for endurance athletes in El Paso..yes, another doctor..There were both positives and negatives associated with the stress test. On the positive, I went much further then anyone had ever seen (including non incident and athletic people). My heart looked much better in the echo, my ejection fraction has come up, and I know it will still be healing for the next 9-10 months..which means to me it will only get better on a cellular level for many more months. Racing?? Not just yet and I am very ok with that, I mean even if I don't get the chance to ever race again I still have a whole hell of a lot to be positive about! I know I am healing more and more with the passing weeks and months, I mean I remember waking up in the intensive care, looking down to the end of the bed and seeing these ugly ass RED socks. RED socks?? Can not walk socks, RED socks meant, extreme fall risk, do not get of bed, not healthy enough to get out of bed and walk on my own! From there, before I was able to go to the main floor (5 days later) I was able to walk one time around the nurses station...with a lot of help. I remember the nurse asking me, "how do you feel" I totally lied and replied "good". Holy Shit! This is what it's gonna be like from here on out, I thought, WTF!!
Now to what I can do: Perhaps the biggest and most rewarding accomplishment so far was this past Friday.. Good Friday, many months ago I set my mind to be able to run the pilgrimage route from San Miguel Church in Socorro to San Lorenzo Church in Polvedera (about 11 miles). As the day drew closer, my aspirations grew as well. In 2001, together with Steven and Jr, we ran both ways. I wanted to do it again this year, but better minds prevailed...It's sorta funny how the "old Mike" still comes out every now and again, besides how much fun would this new journey be if I was able to jump right back to where I was?? This time I plan on taking my time, enjoying the scenery, letting the experiences permeate deeper, and bringing more loved ones with me. Friday morning together with Marlene, Lindsey, and Steven, we set out for San Lorenzo, we ran the entire way. Yes, it was difficult, but then again a pilgrimage is meant to be. What kind of journey with significant moral and spiritual value would be worth undertaking without hard work, a strong belief, and beautiful people to share it all with?...sorta like a triathlon huh? Truth be told, I might be able to don my Trisports.com race suit again, but then again I might not?? Either way my only choice in the matter is to remain positive and share the love along the way....best I can. I will end by wishing everyone, Happy Easter. Whatever your beliefs are I wish you a deeper devotion, weather it be to training, chasing those personal bests, reconnecting with family/friends..whatever...Good Luck and be a hero to somebody today!
