Day 45 of my daily workout regimen found Marlene and I in yet another Hot Yoga class. I began the week the same as I will end it, in Hot Yoga. To say I am into it would be a huge understatement. Quote from Levi, my 6 year old son, "Yoga makes you a better daddy". Yes, it does. Before triathlons, one of my favorite songs was Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls, I even went to their concert in Boston when I visiting a friend of mine who just so happened to graduate from Harvard:) It seems like when I leave the Yoga class I do just that, become closer to fine isn't that what we all should strive for? Now don't be worried I will still be the first to the beer tent after every race, but I do have to admit, after last Monday's class I was wanting to eat something vegetarian (it felt that good). I don't know what the season will have in store, but it feels awesome right now. Like I said before wins are a difficult thing to obtain and many factors have to fall into place, but hopefully with my new found peace and ease I will accept either victory or defeat much better.
Triathlons and life (teaching) have gone hand in hand for me. Many times I have let outside influences dictate my training and racing moods. For many years I raced with anger and vengeance (so to speak). I hated to let people pass me on the bike, it burnt me up inside and I hated it! In my teaching career I have had many opportunities to use the sadness, anger, and negative thoughts to fuel many a workout. I have taken jobs with such acronyms as MIBD (multi impaired behavior disordered), SEBD (severe emotionally behavior disordered), and ED(emotionally disturbed) . Needless to say there are not many success stories coming out of such programs, but I tried anyways. There was a kid who went with me to the Hawaii Ironman 2001 and also lived with me (who is no longer here), There was a kid (13), who would many times call me during my night runs. I would reassure him that I would be waiting for him in the morning with a cup of coffee and everything would be ok. Many times we would would work it out by 10am. One night I guess he decided the weight was just too much to bear so he hung himself. I guess I knew taking these jobs would be difficult, but I decided these kids need somebody to tell them they were proud of them and show them love so I was that person and will continue to be. Finally as of late I am letting go and it feels really good inside. I will never forget, don't get me wrong, but I will release the anger and frustrations and replace it with much more healthy emotions.... That's what I am concentrating on when in Yoga class, out on the road bike miles from civilization, doing endless laps in the pool, etc. I guess fuel is where you find it and for me its feeling almost euphoric to find it in the places I had never before looked.....
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